What Hurts The Most
by morningstar027
Summary: Sequel to Tearing Up My Heart. After Ryoma's death,Tezuka has locked himself in his and Ryoma's room,never going out. Fuji and the others are getting worried. Will they be able to help their Buchou?


Hi another story,a sequel to Tearing Up My Heart,hope you guys enjoy this and.............NO FLAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WARNINGS:DEPRESSION AND SELF ABUSE

Pairing:TezukaxRyoma

Summary:Sequel to Tearing Up My Heart. After Ryoma's death,Tezuka has locked himself in his and Ryoma's room,never going out. Fuji and the others are getting worried. Will they be able to help their Buchou?

" "-talking

_Italic-thoughts_

**What Hurts The Most**

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
_

_But i'm doin it  
_

_It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and i'm alone  
_

_Still harder gettin up, gettin dressed, livin with this regret  
_

_But I know if I could do it over  
_

_I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken_

"How's Tezuka?" asked a honey-brown haired boy

"I called his parents,apparently,they were staying in Tezuka and Ryoma's apartment persuading Tezuka to open the door of his and Ryoma's room, they say he hasn't eaten anything, I'm worried Fuji, I wish Tezuka would atleast eat than abusing himself" replied a boy with two bangs hanging above his forehead

"I'm also worried Oishi, all of us are" said a boy named Fuji "_Tezuka,what on earth are you doing?your making everyone suffer,especially him"_

"Kunimitsu open the door!!!!" Tezuka's father shouted

"Please Kunimitsu open the door,we're worried about you" Tezuka's mother added

But their shouts and poundings have no effect to the immobile captain

"Ryoma, Ryoma it's my fault that you died,they should blame me" Tezuka uttered then he took the knife and slit his wrist, blood started appearing and all Tezuka did was watched it flow then afterwards get a tissue and wiped it off. Tezuka has so many cut marks around his arms and abused himself by not eating "Ryoma, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" as he continued to cry silently, unknown to him, a certain person is watching him, with a hurt expression.

Oishi and Fuji were on their way to the funeral house where Ryoma's remains lies.

As they arrive, they could see many people, all crying for the loss especially Sakuno, she has loved Ryoma ever since, after knowing that he and Tezuka are seing each other, she remained strong and supported the two of them. She was crying so hard that Tomoka has to give her a glass of water while Ryuuzaki-sensei patted her back. Ryoma's parents were also there, his father crying wildly and has to be hugged by his mother and remained like that, Nanako crying while hugging Karupin who was meowing mournfully for his master. Momo and Eiji crying hard with Taka and Inui comforting them on a corner, while Kaidoh sat quietly, head down. But Fuji knows that among them, Tezuka is suffering the most.

Oishi and Fuji went towards Ryoma's coffin and prayed for him, apparently in the news, Ryoma's captor, Sasabe was captured and put to jail so they were all glad that his killer was found but still Tezuka still refuses to step out of his and Ryoma's room. He blames himself for the death of Ryoma. _"That's it" _and Fuji started for the door "Fuji where are you going?" Oishi asked "I'm going to a certain person's house be right back" and left.

Back in Tezuka's and Ryoma's apartment, Tezuka's parents were soon tired but kept on persuading Tezuka to step out of the room "Kunimisu please, open the door stop abusing yourself!!!!" his mother said but Tezuka remained quiet and slit himself many times ignoring the pain. "TEZUKA IF YOU DON'T OPEN THE DOOR I'M BARGING IN!!!!!!!!!!!!" said a new voice but Tezuka remained immobile and continued on cutting himself "1"said the new voice"2.............3.............4............" but Tezuka remained on his spot "5!!!!!!!!!" and the person barged in, breaking the door in the process, Tezuka just stared at the person, the tensai of Seigaku "TEZUKA ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?" Fuji shouted "No,it's my fault Ryoma died, I shouldn't have let him go home alone I shouldn't have" Tezuka said while preparing to slit his wrist, Fuji seing this snatched the knife away from Tezuka "What did you do that for?give me the knife" Tezuka said "No" Fuji answered "Please Tezuka stop abusing yourself, it's not your fault that Ryo-" "IT'S MY FAULT!!!!!!!!!RYOMA DIED BECAUSE OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!I'VE BEEN IN PAIN AFTER HIS DEATH,IT REALLY HURTS AND NOT YOU OR ANYONE CAN UNDERSTAND ME!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tezuka shouted but was punched by Fuji "NOT UNDERSTAND YOU?! TEZUKA HAVE YOU GONE MAD?!" but Tezuka remained silent "DURING YOUR SUFFERING DAYS ME AND THE OTHERS ARE WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU!!!!!!!!!!! EVEN YOUR PARENTS AND THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY!!!!!!!!!!" Fuji yelled. It became quiet for a long time "I'm sorry, I didn't meant to let everyone worry about me" Tezuka replied with shame "Just don't do it again you, you made everyone worried especially _him_" Fuji answered and as if on que, a white light appeared and there Ryoma appeared "Ryo-Ryoma?" Tezuka said, Ryoma smiled at him "Yes Kunimitsu it's me" Tezuka started crying and saying "I'm sorry,I 'm sorry" Ryoma hugged him "Shhh, it's okay Kunimitsu, it's okay" Tezuka hugged him back "Kunimitsu I must go now" Ryoma said "Please don't leave me Ryoma" Tezuka begged "I can't Kunimitsu, I need to go now" then Ryoma stood up "Kunimitsu promise me that you'll live on and always take care of yourself" "I will Ryoma, I will" Tezuka replied, Ryoma smiled and kissed him passionately on the lips before disappearing

"Fuji?"

"Yes Tezuka?"

"I'm sorry"

"It's okay Tezuka,it's okay"

On the day of Ryoma's burial, everyone gave him white roses as his coffin was buried underneath a cherry blossom, then everyone paid their last respect for the boy before leaving. The one who still stood the longest in front of his gravestone was.............................Tezuka, "Ryoma" he started "You have thought me how important life is, you have thought me so many things, when you were not around, other people see me as stoic person, a person with no emotion but when you came, you have inspired my life, it's like you rescued me from a cage and has showed me what true happiness is and I thank you for that "Tezuka then prayed and looked up to the blue sky "Ryoma I wish you peace, please be happy there and I'll be keeping your promise" then he looked at Ryoma's gravestone one last time until a white feather landed on his right hand and he smiled "I love you Ryoma......................always will" and left. Then a figure appeared right after Tezuka left.

"I love you too Kunimitsu..........................always will"

-Owari-

Finally I'm finish,hope you guys enjoyed it and sorry if I have any wrong grammars in the story


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